Feeling the Pinch? Why Looking After Yourself is Non-Negotiable

It feels like everywhere you turn at the moment, the conversation comes back to

money. The rising cost of living, the unexpected bills, the constant juggling act – it's a heavy weight to carry, and if you're feeling it, please know you are far from alone. As a counsellor, this is a theme I see weaving its way through so many of our stories right now. Financial strain isn't just about numbers on a spreadsheet; it seeps into our relationships, our sleep, and our overall sense of wellbeing.

When we're in survival mode, a powerful, almost primal instinct kicks in: we prioritise the needs of those who depend on us. We make sure the children have new school shoes, that there’s food on the table, that we’re supporting our partners or ageing parents. We put ourselves at the very bottom of the list. It comes from a place of love and deep responsibility. We tell ourselves, "I'll be fine," "I can cope," or "My needs can wait."

An individual carefully counts their money, considering financial issues amid economic difficulties.

But here’s the honest truth: they can't. Not forever. Imagine you're a car. To keep running, you need fuel, oil, and regular maintenance. If you're constantly driving on an empty tank, ignoring the warning lights, and skipping every service, what eventually happens? You break down. And when you break down, you can't drive anyone anywhere. It is exactly the same for us. Continuously neglecting our own basic needs for rest, connection, and emotional release doesn't make us stronger or more noble. It leads to burnout. It leaves us exhausted, irritable, and running on fumes. Our mental and physical health suffers, and ironically, our capacity to care for the people we love diminishes. We can’t pour from an empty cup, and trying to do so only builds resentment and leaves us feeling depleted and isolated.

Looking after yourself isn't selfish; it is the most fundamental part of being able to look after anyone else. It's not about expensive spa days or lavish holidays. It’s about the small, sustainable acts of self-preservation. It's allowing yourself ten minutes of quiet with a cup of tea before the house wakes up. It’s taking a walk on your lunch break to clear your head. It’s being honest with a friend and saying, "I'm finding things really tough." It’s giving yourself permission to feel worried or scared without judging yourself for it. In these challenging times, your well-being isn't a luxury. It's your most essential resource.

Protect it fiercely.